6 Things New Parents Won’t Do Forever

My, how things change in just a few short months…

Heat the Bottles: You lovingly warm the bottle each time so it’s just right. And then one day, you realize… she will drink it cold just the same. Time Saved: 40 minutes a day

Wipe, Every Single Time: Turns out using a wet wipe on a wet nether region just breeds diaper rash. Wipes Saved: 6

Bundle Up: The books say to dress your baby in one extra layer than you would wear. And most of us would wear an undershirt, an outershirt, a sweater, a snowsuit and an insulated car seat sleeping bag thing. So just add a plastic unbreathable stroller cover, and your baby is good to go. Then get in trouble at the pediatrician’s office for the extreme heat rash. Laundry Saved: One load a week

Set the Motion Alert Baby Monitor: You may still wake up three times every night to put your finger under his nose to feel for breathing, but hearing the alarm go off after you forget to turn it off and are already in another room with a pants-free baby is only charmingly absent-minded for so long. Energy Saved: Honestly, probably about 1/200th of a cent, but you can now call yourself a Green Mom.

Google: There was a video going around a year or so ago that a made a mental note of before I had a kid. One piece of advice really stuck out as something crucial to remember.

 

Then my daughter had her first stomach flu, and I needed to make sure it wasn’t any sort of flesh-eating worms or mother allergy. I had to slap my own hands away from the  keyboard. Time Saved: 28 hours a week. Seriously.

 

Hand Sanitize…And Then You Will Again: I swore I’d never be the Hand Sanitizing Mom. Then Posey was 6 weeks early and the size of a Subway sandwich at birth. Long story short, we had hand sanitizer in every room of the house and under our pillows. But as time went on, we loosened up a bit. Understood she wasn’t as fragile as we thought. Then came two days ago and the above-mentioned Stomach Flu. I’m going to need you to rub hand sanitizer in your eyes just for reading this. Germs Saved: 10,0000,000000,000,00000 zillion.