Should you release a pregnancy press release?

When I finally got pregnant, I couldn’t wait to scream it from the rooftops. While some celebrities can’t wait to release the news of their upcoming bundles of joy, three women have recently made headlines for, well, not giving a headline. What do you think? Is it annoying for them to not just state the obvious? How did you share your big news?

Reese Witherspoon

 

Although her bump’s been growing for months, Reese only recently acknowledged her pregnancy by noting that she’s been “feeling very round lately.”

 

 

 

 

 

Megan Fox

Well, I guess she sort of announced it. A picture’s worth 1000 words. Nice work, B.A.G.

UPDATE: @RealBrianAGreen hath tweeted: “Thank you everyone. We are so happy [smiley face],” but then followed it up with, “By the way that last tweet does not confirm or deny anything :)” I never figured BAG for an emoticon kind of guy.

 

 

Giselle Bundchen

Is she, or isn’t she? People are speculating that the fact that she has a hankie over her belly on this new Braziliam Vogue cover is proof.

 

Then again, they also called this photo proof… and that “baby bump” looks like me on the skinniest day of my life in six pairs of Spanx sucking in:

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Vacation & Writer’s Block

Sorry about the longer-than-expected hiatus!

Last week, we took Posey on her first vacation.  I’m never one to make things easy on myself, so instead of driving to Wisconsin, we flew to London. I’m so glad we did it– it was a wonderful week with great friends. But not all went smoothly. Since no one wants to hear about the things that went right, I’ll count down the things that fell apart. Let them be a warning to you before you travel with your baby.

5. There is a weight limit for carry-on bags.

There is? I had no idea. I spent two days carefully packing the ESSENTIALS we’d need for her on board: American diapers, American formula for the week, two changes of clothes, blankets, toys, books, wipes for the week, and a big-ass laptop. At the desk, I was given 60 seconds to reduce my 20 lb. bag to 12 lbs. It threatened to undo me.

4. Even if your baby sleeps during the flight, it doesn’t mean you will, too.

Virgin has these amazing in-flight infant bassinets that attach to the bulkhead, meaning that not only did my under-2 lap-baby not need to pay a fare (just the taxes), but she also got her own bed. This was totally necessary, as she doesn’t like to sit still. Our flight left at 6pm, and when she finally went to sleep around 9:30, I just stared at her. For like 5 more hours. There was something unsettling about nodding off while my infant was strapped to a wall 35,000 feet in the air. In retrospect, I don’t know what my problem was.  If someone had kidnapped her on board, there wouldn’t be too many places to hide her.

3. European cars don’t all have those bar thingies to clip the car seat base to.

If your poor husband has to lug a car seat AND ITS BASE 4,000 miles, you’d best hope you can actually use the thing. PS, the base also didn’t fit in the Snap N Go under-basket. Oops.

2. Things that your baby never does? She’ll do them in a foreign land. 

These include, but are not limited to: waking up screaming in the middle of the night, pooping up her back several times in one day, refusing solid food, and losing toys.  Considering that Sophie le Giraffe is French, you’d think she’d be everywhere in the U.K.  Not so!

1. Hotel beds are ripe ground for rolling off.

It finally happened.  She rolled off a bed.  In a 100 square foot room, with both of us right there. One second she was right there, the next– we looked over, and she was wedged between the bed and the hotel’s Pack ‘N Play.  I cried.  She didn’t.

And the last one is a bonus:  I was so worried that she would start teething while we were away and off her schedule that I didn’t even notice that she did, in fact, start teething while we were over there.  My mom discovered Posey’s first tooth Monday. I had no idea. I feel like she’s a totally different baby now.

Shout out to the lovely family we sat with on the way over. Elsie, Loveday, mom Caroline– I hope your visit with Grandpa, the Cadbury factory, and the ponies under the piano were grand.

I Guess That’s Why I Blog

I buckled her into her car seat and leaned over to give the straps a yank-test. She grabbed my finger, looked up at me, and smiled.  “Isn’t it a shame,” I said to her out loud, “that years from now, neither one of us will remember this moment?”

She didn’t answer, but when I saw her eyes of love beaming at me, I didn’t care.

 

 

Posey’s Packing List

Beef still talks about the fact that (many years ago) Notre Dame sent the incoming freshman a suggested packing list of items they might need for college life.  I think he misses a time when you could check “one blue blazer” off the list and feel prepared for the next phase of life.

Our next life-phase is traveling with our baby.  We feel nervous, apprehensive, excited and scared of hazing.  Kind of like college.  So I prepared a packing list. What are we missing? Please let me know!

  • Car seat/base
  • Snap and Go
  • short sleeve onesies
  • long sleeve onesies
  • hoodie
  • sweater
  • jeans
  • leggings
  • shorts
  • socks
  • owl shoes
  • sleep sack
  • hats
  • playsuits
  • blankets
  • pacifiers
  • diapers (reg/nighttime)
  • wipes
  • boogie wipes
  • bibs
  • burp cloths
  • toys/books
  • portable mobile that plays the song she likes
  • powdered formula / liquid for plane
  • oatmeal
  • bottles
  • bottle sterilizing bag
  • spoon
  • nail clippers
  • portable monitor
  • lotion
  • body wash/shampoo
  • Desitin
  • Aquaphor lotion
  • washcloth/hooded towel
  • hairbrush
  • thermometer
  • Mickey’s Clubhouse dvd for potential airplane freakout

Chris Brown on Today

I understand that human beings make mistakes.  I know my outrage is nothing new, and Sasha Pasulka summed up a lot of folks’ feelings perfectly on HelloGiggles.

BUT– I am sickened by the way The Today Show is touting their big “get” this morning.  Ann Curry just spoke with an 8-year-old girl whose mother brought her to the plaza like it was the cutest thing ever.  This kid is EIGHT— and the women in her life today, both her mother and someone she sees on TV– are all telling her its okay to idolize someone who beat up his girlfriend.

I’m glad that Chris Rock made his opinion known on the Today appearance yesterday.  What’s gross is the way the hosts are all laughing.  I don’t get it.  What’s funny?

Here is a photo of Ann Curry at a 2009 luncheon to help end domestic violence.  Al Roker also attended.

Somebody’s Baby

 

My dad and I walked down the street like two people who just went shopping at the hat store, because that’s exactly what we did.  It was winter. My dad had chosen one of those furry Russian-looking things, while I went with a red and black checked hunting cap with ear flaps.  I was a recent English major, and I thought it made me look just the right amount of Catcher in the Rye.  It was snowing. We went inside for meatloaf.     A homeless man was near the entrance. He had just been kicked out.  He looked like he’d had a hard life made harder by some bad choices. It was cold.

“Every single person,” my dad said, “started out as somebody’s baby.”

My baby is fast asleep right now in her crib.  The owls on the wall are looking over her while I am not. Her road began with its own bumps, but now her sea is pretty calm. She’s starting out as my baby, and I am so grateful.

I’m making a donation to Ronald Poppo’s medical fund here.

Melissa & Joey & Me

One of the best worst summer shows has returned to TV, and Beef couldn’t be happier.  Last night, he came home grumpy from an especially hard day’s work.  While most stressed-out dads would pop open a beer to ease the pain– Alas, his wound was one there was no bandage for.

“I wish Melissa & Joey was on tonight.”

Poor guy.  There was nothing I could do for him about that, so I did the next-best thing.  I made him Joey Lawrence’s Sweet and Citrus Summer Fish Tacos , which J.L demoed last week on Live with Kelly!   They were pretty good, and Beef pointed out a better name for them would be:

“Joey Lawrence’s Sweet and Citrus Summer Fish Tac-Whoas”

I’m not entirely sure when our love affair with the 22 minutes of genius that is M&J  began.  Wait a sec, yes I do.  It was after ABC Family unleashed on the world a little film called My Fake Fiance– pairing up the unstoppable  @MellyJHart with the multi-talented Joey L.  Basically, our lives changed, and when we heard they were doing a show together, we were all in.

Here are the Top 5 Reasons you should be watching, too:

  1. She’s a councilwoman.  He’s her lost-everything-in-a-ponzi-scheme manny.  What could possibly go wrong???
  2. Joey’s hairline is different in every episode.
  3. The innuendo is just enough to make you uncomfortable that it’s on ABC Family, and you sort of want to call up the programming director and ask if he or she is sure about all of this.
  4. The pilot script actually refers to them as Hailey & Jack, so you know they weren’t just cast because of their first names.
  5. Franklin & Bash is on Tuesdays, so there’s no conflict.

Melissa & Joey airs Tuesday nights at 8/7c.  You’re so welcome.

…Wait, you didn’t see My Fake Fiance?!  Here’s the trailer.  Finally, a love story you can believe in.

Don’t Steal My Idea (C in a circle)

There have been many times in the last 8 months when it’s been suggested to me that I join a Mom’s Group.  I feel like whenever I spend time with another woman who also has a kid, well, that makes us two moms, which essentially qualifies us as a Mom’s Group, so I don’t need to join one.  While I do think that becoming a parent instantly allows you to have an opinion on whether or not to use dryer sheets, I do not think that just because someone else is a mom that we will be best friends forever.

But I also think the opposite of that.

I live on a historic boulevard lined with gorgeous graystones, trees, flowers, and a well-manicured green parkway running right down the middle.  When I take Posey for walks, I’m just one guppy pushing a minnow along– in a sea of BOBs, Bugaboos and Phil & Ted’si.   We’re all just hamster-wheeling around the same one-mile loop.  It sort of makes me sad that there are these dozens of women, all alone, lost in their own baby’s routine, walking lap after lap in a circle, when we could be connecting.  Then I remember my mantra and tell myself I’d probably have nothing in common with any of them, anyway.

And then I saw her.

She had a Snap ‘n Go.  The baby was probably pretty little, because the telltale gauzy swaddle blankets were elaborately draped over the car seat– the way only a brand new mom does.  But I wasn’t looking at the baby. I was looking in the underneath compartment.  There, just hanging out, was a little pooch.  Happy as a clam.  And I knew the woman who had a pet riding in the under-sidecar was someone I wanted to know better.   She had headphones on and only took them out for a second to politely acknowledge my squeal of delight.  You see, my beloved cat, Phillip, loves sitting underneath in the same spot, but as he’s an indoor fellow, I’ve never taken him outside.  He’s not allowed. In my head, I’ve developed some very elaborate netting plans that would enclose the enclave, so we could family-stroll, but it hasn’t happened yet.

Since this first sighting, I haven’t seen the mom/baby/pooch caravan again. But I think of them every day.  And I also think about this:

  • They make baby strollers.
  • They make double baby strollers.
  • They make pet strollers.

WHY DON’T THEY MAKE A BABY/PET COMBO STROLLER?

I think it’s the one material object that could make my life complete.

10 Years Ago Today

This is my Facebook post today, but I felt it was worth double-dipping:

“10 years ago today, I was killing time at the Holiday Club, waiting for Ben Kweller’s bassist to call me on the number I gave him on a $1 bill. He still hasn’t called, but that night I did meet a PhD student in a striped shirt who asked me if I had a feller and a phone. How things change in a decade– I’m now the #2 gal in his life, and I think our anniversary celebration was the moment this week when he counted down his Top 5 yogurt flavors & brands for me.”

We took Posey to the Holiday Club for dinner tonight.  And for her 1st photo booth experience:

 

Fly, Little Birdy

Yesterday, my favorite partner in crime and I took our under-ones to the Kohl’s Children Museum in Glenview, IL.  Turns out, every other parent in a 50-mile radius had the same idea.  The weather?  Pouring.  The parking lot?  Full.   And the line– it was a scene out of sitcom.  One in, one out.  A velvet rope.  Insert Diddy joke here.

Once we got inside, it was pretty awesome.  TAKE YOUR KID HERE.  Sure, Posey was too little for the tiny grocery store, vet, or baby hospital, the mini-library or and even the tot-sized Potbelly (complete with toy sammies).  But inside the cushiony confines of the infant areas, a miracle occurred.  There, on maybe a 10-inch high baby ballet barre, in front of a shatter-free mirror, my 3 lb., 3 oz. helpless lump HELD HERSELF UP AND STOOD.  By herself.  Sure, in the :01 I looked away to grab my camera* she fell forward and smacked face against the barre, resulting in a puffy goose egg a few minutes later, but she did it.  And laughed and smiled like a goon in the mirror the whole time.

And I would have never even given her the chance.

It was my friend who wound her up and let her rip while I struggled with the museum-mandated protective booties on the other side of the partition.  I expect so little of her, because she’s a preemie, because she has no teeth, because she’s little, but mostly–  because she’s my baby.  But she’s ready to do so much more, even if I’m not.

Today, I took her to the gym and forced myself to let her be in daycare for twenty-eight minutes (the “fat burn” cycle).  You’d better believe I cried the whole drive there and that I was glued to the nanny-cam channel the entire workout.  It was the first time someone that is not a blood relative of ours watched her, even if I was still technically “watching.”  She did great.

And so did I.

*Still got this one: