Sunday morning, as I attempted to get Posey dressed for the day, the unthinkable happened. I was standing right there– I didn’t walk away, I didn’t turn my head, I didn’t leave her for a nanosecond. But she rolled right off the table, right in front of me, and crash-landed in an open drawer, her fall broken by her folded stacks of onesies.
She cried for about 12 seconds. I cried for the rest of the day.
How could I be so careless? How did I not stop it? HOW COULD I BE SUCH A BAD MOTHER? I was sure I was alone. Who would do such a thing? But that’s where the interweb comes in. Google “baby fell off changing table,” and you get thousands of repeats of the same tale, some of them much, much worse than mine. And that’s the wonderful thing about parenting. No situation, no challenge, no mishap, no conundrum is EVER unique. There is ALWAYS another parent who’s gone through the exact same thing as you.
Unless, that is, you are Taylor Swift’s mother.
Yesterday, news broke that the singer plunked down a reported $4.9 million for a Cape Cod beach house to be closer to her boyfriend, Conor Kennedy. A Hyannis realtor even confirmed the sale. My very first thought was– where the hell is this girl’s mother? How is this happening? And then I thought about it. Where is the guidebook for her? What do you search for in the index?
What to do when your 22-year-old superstar daughter wants to buy a multi-million dollar Camelot loveshack to be closer to her 18-year-old boyfriend, who happens to be a member of possibly the most storied family in a century of American history, The Kennedys.
So I stand corrected. There ARE unique parenting issues. And I’m going to get started writing my new book, How to Console Your Daughter When RFK’s Teenage Grandson Dumps Her for Vanessa Hudgens.
Pre-order your copy today.