But god help me, sometimes I’m tempted.
“Who gave my baby three shots of espresso before bedtime??!??” Coffee references, in general, are sufficient grounds for dismissal.
“It’s already 3:00? I guess no shower for me today!” Or anything lamenting a lack of hygiene due to parenting duties.
“Time for baby’s bottle… and mama’s bottle!” Accompanied by some bad stock photo of a wine bottle.
“Baby’s got the runs! Looks like her pink eye infection moved south.” Or anything related to gross illnesses/secretions.
What clichés am I missing?
P.S. Clip art trumps stock photos: 
Posey Pie Productions 
lol Naa we have all been there. I wrote something the other day about teaching kids to do something so I don’t have to. Pouring Southern Comfort for me was one. 😉 I did put a disclaimer in case someone thought I actually did that.