Beyoncé in a Bathing Suit

I know the Bey posts are getting out of control on here, but I can’t help but compare our lives right now, since they’re so similar.


Photos were posted yesterday of her frolicking in the Caribbean surf– in a bathing suit, 3 months after having a baby. GOOD FOR HER. Because you know what? She just proved she’s human by knowingly being photographed in a skirted one-piece. And I’ll bet you she never imagined the words “Beyoncé” + “skirted one-piece” would ever be a viable Google search term, but my parents’ neighbor told them the planets were aligned yesterday (and incidentally, that possibly means a broom will stand on its own).

So I’d like to encourage us all to embrace our new stomachs– and by embrace, I mean tastefully cover up– by highlighting a few new mama-suits I think Beyoncé would approve of.

1. Land’s End Tulip Slender Suit $120

2. J. Crew Ruched Femme Tank $84 (Also available in D-cup, $86, or $1 extra per big boob)

3. Spanx Whittle Waistline Draped One-Piece $198 (Has anyone tried Spanx swimwear? Is it worth that much?)

Beyonce:1; Me:-622,975

I was about to leave the house for a stroll with the baby. On my way out the door, I saw this photo of Bey strolling with Blue Ivy yesterday. I looked in the mirror and decided I can do better than stretched out boyfriend jeans and flats that are a little gritty from the baking soda I sprinkled in them to lessen their smell.

I hope. But maybe not.