Hey, CTA campaign planners?  Take a long stroll off a short El platform.

The CTA started passing out fliers today to stroller-pushing commuters on the city’s busses and trains, reminding them to “be considerate” when joyriding around the city during rush hour/nap time/the sixth circle of hell.  Here is their official policy:

Children in open strollers are welcome on CTA, however we encourage parents to be considerate of other customers and adhere to these rules when traveling with a stroller.

• Keep strollers clear of aisles and doorways aboard buses and trains.
• Seniors and customers with disabilities have priority use of the Priority Seating area aboard buses and trains. If these seats are not in use, open strollers may be parked in this area. This will help you to avoid blocking the aisle. Please yield this space if a customer with disabilities, a senior, or a person using a mobility device wishes to board. On buses, you may request use of the access ramp or lift to help you board and exit.
• Please fold your stroller in the event that a bus or train becomes crowded, in order to make room for others. Be aware that in the event that a bus or train is crowded, a CTA employee may ask you to fold your stroller or wait for another vehicle. Please follow their instructions. Also, during certain periods of high ridership, we may require that all strollers be folded before you board.

I heard on the news this “refresher” came about because of commuter complaints.  Listen, I’ve taken Posey on the train in her stroller.  Several times.  And I’d like to start handing out my own flier that outlines the following:

Don’t Be An Inconsiderate Jerk! (aka, You Were Once a Baby, Too!)

• PLEASE refrain from peeing in the elevators; I spend enough time changing dirty diapers without having to ride inside a giant moving one to get down to the platform.
• Do not push in front of me to get on first.  You’re only making sure I will be blocking you when you have to get off before me.
• If I am unfortunately blocking the door and am in clear violation of the policy, MOVE OVER so I can get out of the way instead of bearing down on your spot to prove a point to me.  I know you can feel my angry glare.
• When you pretend to not see me almost fall over for the ninth time because the stroller handle is not the same as the safety bar handle thingies, slide your hand over one scootch.
• When you see me crying because after two transfers and 75 minutes of ride time, the elevator at my destination is broken, please offer a hand instead of smirking at me like it serves me right for having a baby.

I’m offended by their flyer.  It’s not easy navigating the city with a baby.  I haven’t opened a door with any body part besides my butt in over a year.  Although they are saying they “welcome” us to ride, it’s pretty clear they mean the opposite.  If I was “asked” to fold up my stroller with one hand while holding a non-walking baby, there is a 100% probability it would end in disaster.  The people who complained are probably the same people who never offer visibly pregnant women or elderly grandmas their seats, either.  Sheesh.