4 Totally Gross Facebook Status Updates You Would Have Every Right to Defriend Me Over

But god help me, sometimes I’m tempted.

“Who gave my baby three shots of espresso before bedtime??!??”  Coffee references, in general, are sufficient grounds for dismissal.

“It’s already 3:00? I guess no shower for me today!”  Or anything lamenting a lack of hygiene due to parenting duties.

“Time for baby’s bottle… and mama’s bottle!”  Accompanied by some bad stock photo of a wine bottle.

“Baby’s got the runs! Looks like her pink eye infection moved south.”  Or anything related to gross illnesses/secretions.

What clichés am I missing?

P.S. Clip art trumps stock photos: 

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