Now enrolling for the Winter session of Grandpa Daycare! Experienced, professional Grandpa provides the following services:
- Unlimited allowance of mustache and hair pullingSupervised cartoon-a-thons
- Nonstop serenading of tunes from above-watched cartoons
- All You Can Eat Cheerios from a well-worn Ziploc baggie in provider’s coat pocket
- Constant text updates to parent from flip phone
- Diaper changing 4-6 times per hour (*dirty diapers not guaranteed to end up in the diaper pail)
- Wash ‘n Wear Service: Should baby ingest too many prunes and explode through two sets of clothes, Grandpa will spot launder and dry clothes with a hair dryer for no extra fee!
- Love guaranteed to exceed all previous known measures
Tuition: Provider accepts payment in the form of unlimited toast and bottomless decaf.
Hurry, only one spot open! All applicants required to be named “Posey.”