Category Archives: Babies

4 Things I Am Not OK With

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I am kind of paranoid.  And due to said paranoia, I was pretty certain I was doomed to be an over-protective parent. It’s how I was raised (don’t deny it, Mom & Dad), and I reckoned it was encoded in my genetic makeup. And when she came out a preemie? I expected myself to have 8,000 items in my cart at http://www.plasticbabybubble.com.

This week, Posey will be 8 months old. I’m happy to report that I’m not as cuckoo as I expected myself to be.  Wanna hold her? Sure! Dirty hands? That’s cool– it builds up her immunity.  Nap time is lax– it happens every day, but not at the same exact time– and nothing is baby-proofed yet. However, there are a few things on my list that have recently floated to the top of my motherhood ocean, and I cannot skim them off.

They are:

Dogs

When I push the stroller past a dog on the street, my whole body tenses.  I am sure the leash will snap when that pit bull mistakes Posey for a Cornish game hen.  Today, we went to a barbecue, and the host’s giant pooch came a-sniffin’.  Beef didn’t react, so I decided to take his lead and not freak out.  Then the dog stuck its schnoz in the Pose’s face… and licked her.  She smiled. I did not. Later, Beef told me he didn’t jump because he didn’t want to scare the dog, but he was pretty sure our baby was gonna get dingo-ed.             So dogs = baby eaters.  This is a proven fact. Horrifying.

Slings

At this same barbecue, some friends were toting their infant in a fabric sling. The baby was so happy. She was sound asleep, curled up in fetal position– which is the first time I’ve ever used that phrase about someone who was recently an actual fetus.  It was so Mother Earthy. My baby, on the other hand, was sweaty and mad, strapped in her heavy-ass car seat that’s giving me forearm wrinkles from the increasing weight.  I was so jealous of the sling. But I have to stick to my guns. Slings = Baby Suffocators.  Also a proven fact.

The Sun

Huge sun hat, gobs of baby sunscreen.  Her skin is so perfect– how would I ever forgive myself for ruining it? All winter, I looked forward to taking her to the pool. She might have to wear a swimming snow-suit. For the coverage.

Nuts

I am nutty about nuts. Beef is, too. We also eat a lot of granola bars. I can’t tell you how many times one of us has eaten a peanut butter granola bar, smooched the baby, freaked out, and ran to wash her face. At least I’m not alone in this behavior, because it’s pretty specific.

What weird is that last week, we were both totally okay with her putting a pacifier in her mouth that had fallen on the floor of a church. You know, the kind that’s never had its floor washed ever since being built in literally 1899.

113 Year Old Dirt = Puts Hair On Your Chest.

To Market, To Market

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Is it ever the “right time” to start a family?  And how do you know when that time is?

When Beef and I decided we wanted a baby, part of our motivation was the fact that stuff wasn’t as fun as it used to be.  It felt like a lot of places/holidays/activities would become magical again if only we could experience them through the eyes of a child.

Of course, I wanted to be a mom for all the “right reasons.”  But I also wanted to be one of those women rolling a stroller down the street with big sunglasses and an even bigger coffee.  I just wanted that.

Today, I lived one of the moments I’d dreamed of. The farmers market.  Read about it here on the HuffPost.

Posey’s 1st Opinion

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The first time I took Posey on the swings, she hated it.  She sat there, in her fancy coat, and just hung. No smile. No movement.

Nothing.

The second time I took her, she had the time of her life. She grinned, she rocked, she rolled.

What was different? Another baby.

Posey didn’t seem to know how to form her own opinion.  The swings weren’t fun until she watched someone else enjoy them.  Sweet potatoes, peas, apples, carrots all got sad faces until I made a silly “Mmmmmmm!” sound after the first bite. Then they were delicious. She liked what we told her to like. I know she’s a baby, but still. This kind of made me sad. As a kid, I was really concerned with what others liked/did/wanted. I didn’t grow out of it until college.  I think I hoped my kid would march to the beat of her own drum at an early age.

And then, we went shoe shopping.

I held up gold gladiator sandals. Denim sneakers. White, flowery mary janes. Yellow ballet flats. And the glorious pink leather owl thingies. I used the bracket system. By process of elimination, the owl slip-ons won every time, no matter which hand I held them in. She reached for them– and only them– every single time. She liked something. I was so proud.

Posey wore her new owl shoes out on the town tonight. I would have chosen the gold sandals. She made a different choice than I would have. She has her own opinion now.

And I’m devastated.

Giuliana & Bill Are Having a Baby!

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Giuliana and Bill Rancic will appear on the Today Show to elaborate on what they’re already confirmed to E! News… they’re expecting a baby this summer via a gestational surrogate.

This celebrity baby announcement hits close to home. Giuliana and I went through IVF at the same time, and Beef and I even met with her Chicago doctor when we were preparing to switch offices. When she announced she was ALSO battling breast cancer, my heart broke for her. Wasn’t wrestling with infertility enough? Wasn’t MS enough for me, before I found out I had dried up old eggs?

I guess we both learned a lesson here. Let me be the first person to ever say- and to invent the phrase– Everything Happens for a Reason. I hope it catches on. I’m sure she would agree with me that neither one of us would take back any of the journey, because it led us to our little miracle babies. Miracle-Science babies, that is.

The Benefits of Having Internet Friends

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Almost two years ago, I was starting the process of IVF and was feeling totally scared. I didn’t know anyone else that had ever done it, I had a million questions, and I wanted a buddy or two who knew what it was like to walk in these particular shoes. So I did something scary– I reached out.

Online.

I posted a message on babycenter.com’s message boards asking if anyone else out there was also about to begin the process. And something awesome happened: I met five other women all across the country, all in the same boat, who my husband named– in no particular order– Upper East Side, Bloomington, Texas, Oklahoma and Portland. Some of his geography was a little off, but I guess it helped him keep them straight.

We communicated daily for the next several weeks about the injections, the side effects, how our egg retrievals went, how our husbands were dealing with things, how WE were dealing with things. And then, something not-so-awesome-happened: ALL FIVE OF THEM GOT PREGNANT.

Except me.

In real life, that would have been a real friendship test. In the internet-friend world, it would have been easy for me to retreat. But it was too late. We were all in too deep and cared too much, and they knew almost exactly what I was going through. I stayed in the group. And six months later when I finally DID get pregnant after two more tries, these five women were the first people I told. After two years, they are no longer my internet friends– they’re my REAL friends (even though I’ve only met one in person).

Today marks the 1st birthday of the first babies (twins!) that were born out of our merry little band of mothers. Six women; eight babies. I was so lucky to find them, and it turns out they might have actually literally helped me get pregnant. Harvard-led research indicates that women experiencing infertility are more likely to conceive if they participate in a stress-reducing program, such as a support group.

So if you found out that having a baby is going to be tough for you, I encourage you to reach out and talk to other women in the same baby-boat. Babycenter is a great place to start; so is Resolve.

Epilogue: We’re all still very much in contact and have taken our relationship to the next level… Facebook. Happy Birthday, L & C.

10 Preemie Must-Haves

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3 pounds, 13 ounces.

That was all Posey weighed when she was born 6 weeks early, leaving me and Beef terrified… and totally unprepared at home. We had a panicky feeling about leaving the safety of the NICU’s constant monitoring.  After my desperate web search for “Preemie Must-Haves” turned up basically nothing on the entire internet, I figured it out on my own. I’m sure I’m not the only parent who’s searched, so allow me to present the Top 10 Things I Couldn’t Live Without when we first brought her home.

1. Chicco KeyFit 30 Car Seat 

We were fortunate that we registered for this one only based on its good reviews. It turned out to be one of the few car seats with a 4lb. minimum– most of them start at 5lbs. A removable newborn insert makes it even snugger for little lima bean babies so they don’t go rattling around. And it helped her pass something called the Car Seat Test. Before the NICU lets you take your baby home, they hook your little nugget up to the monitors and observe for a couple hours to make sure she doesn’t lose any oxygen folded up in there. And you might get released sooner than you expected, so be prepared!

2. Puj Tub

Fits inside your sink; folds up flat! They say this is supposed to go up to 17lbs., but I think that’s a crock. I will say that it was itty-bitty enough to not make us worried about drowning her for a couple of months. This intimidation-free tub made bathtime fun instead of terrifying, and now it comes in some fun colors.

3. Angel Care AC401 Movement & Sound Monitor

After Posey spent 3 weeks attached to machines, having her at home with no monitors should have been a breath of beep-free air. It wasn’t. This super-sensitive gadget goes off if it doesn’t detect motion for 20 seconds. I am not going to pretend that I also didn’t wave my finger under her nose constantly for the first several dozen nights, but the reassurance helped us tremendously. If your preemie is experiencing  apneas or bradycardias, you know what I’m talking about.

4. Fisher Price’s My Little Snugabunny Bouncer

I spent hours upon hours searching for something appropriate for her to sit in, and this bouncer had preemie parents screaming from the rooftops. Total dedicated preemie parent following, and it should, because it fits a little baby very well. And she liked it for a long time in baby-time, which is like 4 months. I liked that it wasn’t particularly loud and obnoxious. She came with us everywhere in this thing. Poor kid has watched her parents shower while strapped in the Bunny Chair so many times that I am fully prepared for her to start presenting with bunny issues.

5. Boppy Newborn Lounger

This was her #2 hangout spot. Perfect for on the couch or whaevs. It’s engineered with the perfect teeny-tiny divet for a teeny-tiny tush. Now that she’s outgrown it, it’s the cats’ favorite. And when my first pillow got shredded in the washing machine, Boppy sent me a brand new one in 48 hours.

6. Halo SleepSack Swaddle

The NICU nurses really know how to swaddle. The problem is, when you get home, they really don’t recommend a blanket swaddle because it can get loose– and you’re not supposed to have ANYTHING in the crib/bassinet with them because of the SIDS risk. But that startle reflex is real, and it keeps them awake. This thing saved us. It successfully straps baby’s arms down with a secure Velcro seal, and it’s idiot-proof. Once I even overheard Beef, upon swaddle completion, gloat, “I made that swaddle my bitch!” It’s the little things. The SleepSack has also been proven to decrease SIDS risk. Get like 3, because they get barfed on.

7. Carter’s Preemie Perfect clothing

Whilst in the womb, Posey was gifted with one of the cutest wardrobes on the planet. When she was born, she owned not one single thing that actually fit her. We even had to roll down the tops of her preemie diapers because they were too big. Carter’s is amazing. They sell it everywhere, it’s cheap, and they make preemie-sized clothes that actually fit a preemie. Now I have phrases in my vocabulary like, “It washes well.”  Here is a picture of one of her preemie suits next to her big elephant-girl 6 month suits she just started wearing:

(Note to BabyGap: thanks for making an “up to 7 lbs.” size, but it didn’t fit my baby until she hit 7 lbs.)

8. Dr. Brown’s Bottles and Preemie Flow Nipples

In the hospital, we had to use slow-flow nipples to feed her. Standard flow was just too fast for her and would cause her to choke, which would cause her to stop breathing, which would set off the alarms and become the most traumatic 5 to 12 seconds you can imagine. These are the bottle that she liked the best after some trial and error, and we were relieved that a preemie-flow was available to reassure us at home that she wouldn’t choke on her milk.

9. Sunshine Kids Easy View Backseat Mirror

Probably the scariest thing you will ever do as a parent is drive with your new baby in the backseat for the first time. What worked for us was the caravan system, where we had my parents follow in the car behind us on the way home from the hospital, motorcade-style. Beef drove. About 10 miles per hour. When it was my turn– and Beef had gone back to work– I invested in this handy little thing so I could see what my rear-facing baby was up to. Get one.

10. Gold Bond Moisturizing Hand Sanitizer

Last but not least, this one’s for you. I’ve written before about hand sanitizing. It’s a good idea, especially with a preemie. But that Purell stuff is the pits. It leaves your hands looking and feeling like turkey jerky. I saw a commercial for this product, and I think it was the first time I ever ran-not-walked immediately to the store to buy it, and it’s great. Lotion and germ-killing in one.

Am I missing anything you’d care to add to the list?

Note from Liz: I was not compensated in any way by any of the above-mentioned companies. All of my opinions are based on my own experience and research. 

What To Expect From Your Cat When You’re Expecting

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I just realized that yesterday was National Pet Day, and I forgot to get you a present! Instead, let me tell you story…

Five years ago, Beef and I brought home our first baby, Phillip from Kay’s Animal Shelter. Actually, I brought him home in a cardboard box with holes poked in the side after he’d a had a seizure-like episode on the counter while I was paying my 60 bucks ($40 I had in my wallet, $20 I had to borrow from my dad) and the guy said, “I’d pick a different one if I was you.”

From the get-go, we had a special bond. Like, he has his own Facebook page. And I dressed him in clothes. And he minded none of this. His favorite food is Goldfish (the crackers, not the fish) and his favorite place to sleep is in the hammock-nook my legs make every night, as I sleep with them in a number-4 configuration.

Every night ‘round bedtime, he’d get nuts and bite us. So we decided we needed another cat– should the day ever come that we had a baby, Phillip needed someone else to take his aggression out on. That’s when we got Eleanor, the scrappy street stray. There were rumors she’d had a litter already. She was basically tough and hated us, and that just made us want her more.

They got along great. We were one big happy family. And then, when we found out a new kitten was on the way, we had to move to a bigger place.

I was so worried. Phillip has a nervous bladder. And tush. Basically, if the litter temperature is not just right, he lets loose where ever. But they both handled the re-location like champs– in fact very obviously favoring our new environs to the old. Longer hallways to run down; higher window sills to jump up on.

But it was time to prepare for Baby, and that meant Phillip couldn’t sleep in the bed with us. They had their own room– yes, we moved to a place where our CATS WHO DON’T PAY RENT could have their OWN ROOM. I started practicing with them. I am so serious here. I would put them in the room, sit on the couch in said room, and read What to Expect When You’re Expecting until both cats fell asleep, and then I’d sneak out. They both learned to be ok. I still have not learned that skill. I tell myself this was preparing myself for motherhood, but let’s be honest. This is just crazy cat-lady stuff.

When Posey arrived six weeks early, all of our coming-home drills went out the window. Although I was now officially a Stay-At-Home Mom, I was gone every single day for three long weeks from 8 am to 8pm, spending my time at the NICU with the baby.

And that’s when the pooping started.

I’d come home to find it right by the front door, Phillip’s very special “Welcome home, F-You!” He knew something was different. And when Posey did come home, Beef and I both expected the worse. We were pretty sure he would bite her. We were already fighting about it basically while I was in labor. In my head, we were getting a divorce over the fact that he was making me choose between him and the cat. Because naturally, a mother chooses her baby. Also, I had protected the crib with one of these, so we were safe.

But then… they both just sniffed her. A perfunctory sniff, at best. No biggie. We’d brought home a few hospital blankets with her scent on them to try to prepare them, but who knows if that did anything. There was only one scary moment where I thought Po was a a goner, and it was this one right here:

The worst part of the whole experience turned out to be Phillip unlearning his “sleep in his own room” training, and I was yet to be experienced in the Cry It Out Method. When we’d get up every two or three hours to feed her, the cat would hear us up and think it was morning and time to come out– prompting him to scream like someone was chopping his tail off with a rusty butter knife. It was either get rid of the baby, or drug the cat.

Now I spend a few minutes every couple weeks cutting up regular, human Prozac into uneven, crumbly little morsels. Phillip’s a lot happier, but I think that’s mostly due to the fact that he’s been allowed back into the figure-4 formation in my bed. And while Eleanor still has yet to give Posey more than a couple glances, I can tell that Phillip is really trying. He comes around. He didn’t even mind the couple of time she’s grabbed his tail.

They do both love her stuff— Eleanor can usually be found relaxing either on the changing table or the Boppy Newborn Lounger, and Phillip enjoys riding shotgun in the undercarriage of our Bob Revolution. It’s like a sidecar:

 

 

So, if you are getting ready to bring home a baby and are worried about the cat(s) in your life not adjusting well, my three best pieces of advice (plus one moral guideline) are:

  1. If you are able, make sure your cat has a companion that he or she already likes to hang out with since you’re about to be a lot less available. If that’s not doable, make it a priority to spend time with your cat after the baby comes home (if that’s what they’re used to).
  2. Don’t ever leave your cat alone with the baby until you are 100% sure in the core of your soul’s very being that nothing awful will come of it.
  3. Read the ASPCA’s actually-useful information here. This was the #1 most helpful thing on the web I could find when I was searching.
  4. Don’t be that jerk who gets rid of their pet because they got a baby instead.