Category Archives: Babies

Happy Thawsgiving!

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After two failed IVF treatments, our doctor told us there was nothing else he could do for us. It was probably best that we take our files and go– find another practice, another doctor, another hope to hold on to.

There was just one last bit of business to take care of before we parted ways. Six months prior, Beef and I banked two leftover embryos in the freezer, and I hate wasting leftovers.

On February 22nd, 2011, we showed up at the clinic unsure if our two little buggers had even survived the thaw. Not only did they– but one was already dividing, multiplying, growing…We could even see in the grainy microscope picture that it had busted out of its shell.

99% sure she's the one on the right

The procedure was the worst of all three I’d endured. I literally saw stars from the pain. But I got through it, ate my animal crackers afterwards, and went home to rest. Two weeks later, we found out we were pregnant.

My baby is the strongest person I’ve ever met. I don’t know anyone else who was cryogenically frozen for six months, defrosted, shot out of a cannon, born almost six weeks early… and so unphased by any of it.

I guess maybe she wanted us as much as we wanted her.

Happy Thawsgiving.

6 Reasons Why I’d Be Fired If I Did My Job the Way Other People Did Theirs

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#1 If I said– “I’ll get that taken care of for you right away!”– but didn’t, in 18 years there would probably be no college fund.

#2 If I avoided eye contact for the entire duration of our transaction, I might have a kid who never learns to smile.

#3 If I never came to take your order, my baby would starve to death.

#4 If I gave you a different answer or conflicting information every single time I spoke with you, my household (and bedtime) would be chaos.

#5 If you paid me to fix the same problem over and over and over again without me ever really finding the real reason for the leak/funny sound/malfunction, we’d probably be at the children’s hospital ER for the hundredth time.

#6  If I just didn’t show up for our appointment, my husband would be a single father.

6 Things New Parents Won’t Do Forever

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My, how things change in just a few short months…

Heat the Bottles: You lovingly warm the bottle each time so it’s just right. And then one day, you realize… she will drink it cold just the same. Time Saved: 40 minutes a day

Wipe, Every Single Time: Turns out using a wet wipe on a wet nether region just breeds diaper rash. Wipes Saved: 6

Bundle Up: The books say to dress your baby in one extra layer than you would wear. And most of us would wear an undershirt, an outershirt, a sweater, a snowsuit and an insulated car seat sleeping bag thing. So just add a plastic unbreathable stroller cover, and your baby is good to go. Then get in trouble at the pediatrician’s office for the extreme heat rash. Laundry Saved: One load a week

Set the Motion Alert Baby Monitor: You may still wake up three times every night to put your finger under his nose to feel for breathing, but hearing the alarm go off after you forget to turn it off and are already in another room with a pants-free baby is only charmingly absent-minded for so long. Energy Saved: Honestly, probably about 1/200th of a cent, but you can now call yourself a Green Mom.

Google: There was a video going around a year or so ago that a made a mental note of before I had a kid. One piece of advice really stuck out as something crucial to remember.

 

Then my daughter had her first stomach flu, and I needed to make sure it wasn’t any sort of flesh-eating worms or mother allergy. I had to slap my own hands away from the  keyboard. Time Saved: 28 hours a week. Seriously.

 

Hand Sanitize…And Then You Will Again: I swore I’d never be the Hand Sanitizing Mom. Then Posey was 6 weeks early and the size of a Subway sandwich at birth. Long story short, we had hand sanitizer in every room of the house and under our pillows. But as time went on, we loosened up a bit. Understood she wasn’t as fragile as we thought. Then came two days ago and the above-mentioned Stomach Flu. I’m going to need you to rub hand sanitizer in your eyes just for reading this. Germs Saved: 10,0000,000000,000,00000 zillion.