How to Store a Puzzle

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Last weekend, I left Posey home alone with her dad while I jetted off to Moose Pass, Alaska for a family wedding. Things went better than my last vacation without her— except for one small snafu:

She ate a jigsaw puzzle piece. Can you spot the hole?

To be fair, she gummed it up beyond recognition, and Beef dug it out of her mouth in time. This is the second time this has happened since my husband declared himself a Master Puzzler. Today, I freaked out about it in therapy, and lo and behold… my therapist is a fellow Master Puzzler.  Her smart suggestion?

The Ravensburger Puzzle Store, available here!

Store all your pieces, even if they’re sorted, and you can put it all away if people are coming over and you want to keep your puzzling habit a secret.  Just what the doctor ordered. Look how happy this lady is, confident her baby won’t eat any stray pieces:

Cool Mom Alert! Michelle Obama’s Blue Nails

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UPDATE: The color is Artistic Nail Design’s Colour Gloss Soak-Off Gel in “Vogue.”  Gel polish is what’s referred to as a “no-chip manicure.” 

Yes, Michelle Obama’s DNC speech lit up our Facebook news feeds like a Lite-Brite, but I’m giving Mama Obama my newly-invented Cool Mom Award for… Her nail polish color!

Is that blue? Grey? Whatever it is, it’s amazing. I’m never wearing boring old Mademoiselle ever again. I found info on how to get the look here.

(Thanks, Chels!)

Frozen Embryos Better than Fresh?

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A friend passed along this news today. I buy it, and so does my little Posey Popsicle!

Frozen Embryos Superior to Fresh Ones for IVF

After years of being conditioned by Gordon Ramsay’s profanity-laden rants that fresh is always better than frozen, it comes as a bit of a shock that a reality TV chef’s wisdom about food doesn’t hold true when it comes to assisted reproductive technology. Anyway, according to a new study regarding IVF treatments, frozen embryos are more likely to result in healthier pregnancies and healthier babies, than fresh embryos.

The research—conducted at Aberdeen University and published in the Fertility Sterility journal—evaluated 37,000 implantation pregnancies and found that when frozen embryos were used there was a “30 per cent lower risk of bleeding during pregnancy, 30 to 40 per cent less chance of the baby being born underweight, 20 per cent smaller risk of it being born preterm and 20 per cent less likelihood of it dying shortly after birth,” compared to pregnancies resulting from fresh embryos.

Researchers had a few theories as to why frozen embryos garner better results, the first having to do with the toll that the fertility treatment takes on a woman’s body. When fresh embryos are implanted shortly after harvesting the eggs, a woman’s lining may not have fully recovered from the invasive procedure. And the drugs used to stimulate egg production could still be circulating in her body, which could be harmful to the pregnancy.

Additionally, only the healthiest embryos survive the freezing and thawing process. A hardier embryo could result in a hardier infant.

Two More

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“She doesn’t like chocolate? I guess she’s not my daughter!!!!” Or any dessert-related posts in general

“Starting her early- I guess she IS my daughter!” Accompanied by a photo of baby with credit card

4 Totally Gross Facebook Status Updates You Would Have Every Right to Defriend Me Over

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But god help me, sometimes I’m tempted.

“Who gave my baby three shots of espresso before bedtime??!??”  Coffee references, in general, are sufficient grounds for dismissal.

“It’s already 3:00? I guess no shower for me today!”  Or anything lamenting a lack of hygiene due to parenting duties.

“Time for baby’s bottle… and mama’s bottle!”  Accompanied by some bad stock photo of a wine bottle.

“Baby’s got the runs! Looks like her pink eye infection moved south.”  Or anything related to gross illnesses/secretions.

What clichés am I missing?

P.S. Clip art trumps stock photos: 

It’s Come to This

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Thud. “Waahhhhh…..”

THUD. “WAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

Despite my best efforts to create a safe, cushy, soft Life Arena for Posey, she manages to bang her head over and over again on any hard surface she can find when we let her play on the floor– even inside her playpen with foam floory-puzzle piece thingies. I find myself left with two options:

  1. Move her into a padded cell.
  2. Get her a helmet.

Neither choice is ideal, but Beef and I have decided on the latter.  Really? Yes, really. And guess what? They actually make helmets for babies who have a tendency to bonk their noggins. Here’s three I found:

  • Thudguard Baby Safety Helmet

OMG, it has ears! But it’s also $42.95, which seems a bit steep for something she may not tolerate. Available in lilac and blue at amazon.com.

  • No-Shock Baby & Toddler Safety Helmet

Well this one has a bit of a Sherlock Holmes thing going on, doesn’t it? And it’s made in Italy! For $49.95, it’s also kind of an investment. Plus, it’s a bit too masculine for Posey’s taste. If it floats your boat, you can get it here.

  • Jolly Jumper Bumper Bonnet Toddler Head Cushion

And now for the SUPER-nerdy one, which means it’s the one we bought. More of a head pillow than a helmet, I guess. But for $11.95, we can afford the luxury of humiliating her. You can buy it here if you want your baby to be twinsies with Po– and I’ll keep you posted once it arrives.

Bumbo Recall Info

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Finally!

I am so glad that the people at Bumbo finally figured this out: the stupid thing needed a seatbelt!

I have the twistiest baby ever, so the seat, even on the floor, was useless. Without any type of restraint, it was an accident waiting to happen. This morning, a voluntary recall was issued. Go here, and you can order a free repair kit.

UPDATE: My repair kit arrived 8/20– less than a week after I ordered it! That was fast. And despite very clear, detailed directions, I installed the belt upside-down. Oops.

There’s No Guidebook for Taylor’s Mom

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Sunday morning, as I attempted to get Posey dressed for the day, the unthinkable happened. I was standing right there– I didn’t walk away, I didn’t turn my head, I didn’t leave her for a nanosecond.  But she rolled right off the table, right in front of me, and crash-landed in an open drawer, her fall broken by her folded stacks of onesies.

She cried for about 12 seconds. I cried for the rest of the day.

How could I be so careless? How did I not stop it? HOW COULD I BE SUCH A BAD MOTHER? I was sure I was alone.  Who would do such a thing?  But that’s where the interweb comes in. Google “baby fell off changing table,” and you get thousands of repeats of the same tale, some of them much, much worse than mine. And that’s the wonderful thing about parenting. No situation, no challenge, no mishap, no conundrum is EVER unique.  There is ALWAYS another parent who’s gone through the exact same thing as you.

Unless, that is, you are Taylor Swift’s mother.

Yesterday, news broke that the singer plunked down a reported $4.9 million for a Cape Cod beach house to be closer to her boyfriend, Conor Kennedy.  A Hyannis realtor even confirmed the sale. My very first thought was– where the hell is this girl’s mother?  How is this happening?  And then I thought about it. Where is the guidebook for her? What do you search for in the index?

What to do when your 22-year-old superstar daughter wants to buy a multi-million dollar Camelot loveshack to be closer to her 18-year-old boyfriend, who happens to be a member of possibly the most storied family in a century of American history,                                The Kennedys.

So I stand corrected.  There ARE unique parenting issues. And I’m going to get started writing my new book, How to Console Your Daughter When RFK’s Teenage Grandson Dumps Her for Vanessa Hudgens.

Pre-order your copy today.